THE PAGE TURNS

April 13, 2026April 13, 2026

L is for Liechtenstein

Fast Facts

Named for: “Light stone” Liechtenstein Castle in Southern Austria
Capital: Vaduz
Long/Lat: 47.1 N/9.3 E, 6000 miles or 11 hours East of Castro Valley
Population: 41,232 or 0.8 CVs
Size: 62 sq mi, 4 CVs
Avg temp in April: 54F/12 C mountains!
Median household income: ~$150,000
Ethnicity: 67% Liechtensteiners, 9% Swiss, 7% German (pasty white people)
Main industries: Precision manufacturing (e.g. dental equipment), financial services (low taxes)

We move from islands to mountains: Central Europe, on the other side of the world from Kiribati, literally and metaphorically. Liechtenstein is one of only two double land-locked countries, which is a thing because humans now must have special statistics for everything. Double land-locked means that it’s land-locked between two other land-locked countries, in this case between Switzerland and Austria. If they could carve out a country within Liechtenstein’s borders, that would be land-locked cubed.

Liechtenstein’s nickname is “The Principality,” which isn’t much shorter, so I’ll just have to learn to spell it. Liechtenstein means “light stone,” and it was what Hugo von Petronell called the castle he built after receiving a fief from the Babenburg margraves. Translating that medieval-speak, it means he did something good for the honchos who ran Austria in the 13th century. But here’s the rub: Liechtenstein Castle is in Austria. Was then, still is now.

April 12, 2026April 12, 2026

K is for Kiribati

Kiribati is a group of multiple island clusters: Gilbert, Phoenix, and Line Islands (Adobe stock photo)

Fast Facts

Named for: Gilbert Islands (Thomas Gilbert) and Christmas Island (named by Cook)
Capital: Tarawa (upper left)
Long/Lat: 1.3 N/173.2 E, 4800 miles & 14 hours west of Castro Valley, though there is no direct route. You can fly through Honolulu.
Population: 116,000 or 2x Castro Valleys
Size: 313 sq mi, or only 18 Castro Valleys (not counting the water)
Avg temp in April: 87 F/31 C
Median household income: $4,400 annual
Ethnicity: Gilbertese (from Kiribati), but ancestors were Melanesian, Micronesian & Polynesian
Main industries: Fish, ~~phosphate~~, tourism

The Kiribati Islands are the indigenous people’s way to pronounce “Gilbert,” as these were originally called the Gilbert Islands after Thomas Gilbert in 1788. Gilbert worked for the British East India Company, and the Brits were all over, colonizing “New South Wales” (Australia) and scooping up as many islands as they could claim. Look! that one looks like a Phoenix. Let’s call it Phoenix Islands. Look! it’s Christmas day, so we’ll call that one Christmas Island. How about Gilbert for these and Ellice for those?

April 10, 2026April 10, 2026

J is for Jersey

Fast Facts

Named for: Geirr or jarl, Spear or Earl’s island (-ey)
Capital (and only town): St. Helier
Long/Lat: 49.1 N/2.6 W (just inside Greenwich Mean), 8000 mi 10 hrs East of Castro Valley
Population: 103,000, 1.5 CVs
Size: 46 sq mi, 3 CVs (just my size)
Avg temp in April: 57 F/16 F
Median household income: $55,000 (island=expensive)
Ethnicity: 44% Jersey/31% British/9% Portuguese/3% Polish
Main industries: Offshore finance, tourism (season), some cows

Jersey is not a country–boot it out of the list! Not so fast, though. My other options of Jamaica, Japan, and Jordan are all too big and too well known. So let’s take Jersey on, fully acknowledging that this thing is not like the others. It will have to do now and later, for X, anyway.

That’s a lot of places for only 50 sq mi. Photo from geo-ref.net.

Jersey is a self-governing island in the English Channel, owned by the British Crown but not part of the UK. Its citizens are British citizens, but not UK citizens. The nearby island of Guernsey (made famous in that book Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Society which is a romance involving Nazis) carries the same status. Been to Guernsey–beautiful place! Haven’t been to Jersey. I mean, it’s cheating, but Jersey might look like Guernsey…